Your parents? And you care how he looks, how he talks, how he shows up to your parents, you want to stand up at your door, put a coat on and a scaf in front of the mirror, and touch that door opens, and swing out.
Just once.
You don't wait there, stand up, get up. And look inside the mirror and put the light on. Do that.
Go back to your computer, take all the scarf and jacket off you. Look at the computer again.
Get up, to go to the bathroom, put some warm water, on your neck, dry it with your towel. Sit back down. This time, you tell me you want to change your mind, because you feeling better at your neck, or swing that door imagine your parents show up?
Really?
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