You write, "I have the earlier diagnosis since 25+, I wasn't very helpful, but I faithfully believing if I plan on one day when I am 50 years old, I wish to go forward one real more near my romance the girl or a guy under the supervise."

Your will may not be 80% by your impulsive nature to go controlling something or already done the damage, only you know. 

What you do best its because you grown up, out of your parents house. If Adam stays with you or he is leaving, you sort that, but you step close to this new MD psychatry, 1 and back up 2. If you like 2 of them, you can get 3. 

You put a piece of paper, because you may feel a lot relax an organization

                 MD 1       MD 2        MD 3

------------------------------------------------------

Per             75            85              110

Rate

You worry the most are the money, right? 

So you writing this in the clear calligraphy, you won't feel as scare, as volunable, and as disoriented, to go forth any you wish, long or short term situation and without your parents, you can be independent a bit in your life. 

Let's say you plan 3 session pedicure, do you like anything of that, when I told UB those guys, like Brian they go and soothing themselves? 

So if you done that before, you do math 3x 50 =150

Then you put a separate sheet

"I want my life to be fullfilled, and less of this rejection everything in life, to make me knowing I cannot go forth. I want one kind of the love."

You may never go to another love again, or just girlfriends. But you just staying near these 3 MD.

You seeing a number in front of you in that expense, you will feel a lot a lot a lot more breathing space. And you just only carry your own "sqaure" here, check mark, and you done

                 MD 1       MD 2        MD 3

------------------------------------------------------

Per             75            85              110

Rate            √              √                 √

Then this is one report will help you since you starting in 25+ on, and every step the way, you get used to a routine, keep asking this MD psychatry, and since you are the first time away from home, away from your parents, and gradually to live alone, you start to planning your life a lot more with these 3 MD psychatry. You make a clear intention you want a love life. Not this kind of.....you know its wrong, but you cannot control yourself. You wish someone like...

You listing what you describe them the couple you know in your church, or in the real life.

You ask that MD. I plan to use 10 years to my finance, another 5 years to stablize myself. I cannot do that right now. But I plan in my life, I wish a real romance in life, a real solid too. Most people will tell me, I might like the girl, but I really want one guy, even that is a fake you told me 3-5 years that time, I want him to know that is a 3-5 year fake, if you tell me everything I can do, that guy will love me, but its everything I hate to do. I won't be doing it now, but I will plan that. One time, that one love. In the end of that life, you tell me or I will tell you, I cannot do that kind of the life.

We continue this doctor and the patient life talk, but I wish that guy or man know, nothing but you and me here. I wish he has that good memory only. I always know the problem is me. I know that. But I just wishing now to plan, because anything in 10-15 years, it can change, I prepare toward that direction, I know that life is solid.