You could just go to some sponsor, or some others whom you could vent, saying you wish to secure some of your interests

You could see, but you don't know what it is. You list the things in life you really wanted, meaning you hate the guys 1 to zillions, but you are okay with the currents girls. What if, its a brand new other girls groups, no more these stories, but just a lot better in a different land. Everything you wish you have. It will never be another guy.