With my ex bf, we talk about everything. I email him, if anything bigger than my head. So with these guys too. I told some of that too big of things. I will ask them first, including the money.

You understand how that works? I may not need to, but I am so custom to live like that. I didn't know any other way, I will tell you the truth. Its not something I wish to hide, or pretend to do behind? I don't believe those things? Whichever that guys might be? oh ~ I assuming a lot of things until these few days...I freeze a little bit.

When I am not sure, I stop. 

When two people's world, because it was the household he shares, or our life shares that time, its just 2 of us. I don't have one family member need to be this involved to our life. But that relationship cannot last if he gonna die, or the money my life I didn't set up myself? Too busy everyday BBQ? Anything I drew out didn't bear the market? 

The reality check no matter how many things behind the burner, you don't think that life needs to offer a little bit? When I am in my 20s, its okay til 30s? Then must accelerate, because cannot wait til my parents gone out of the wind, their age, or I imagine 65, my parents will be dead before that? I can believe that?

You like to read, you like to talk, you start to talking out loud, one day at the 1 million words after you will start to fold a bit your own attitude. Not before. You want to try? You realize too many words say, you wish to change a bit of your wind.