💖 Write it down? 💖 To your father right now what age, your mother what age. Can you tell me when I am silver grey hair these UB my age seeing my grey white hair, like you seeing your own classmate girl fatigue, bend back.

You pair someone youth skin tone to be my mother right now.

What about you, my mother, you are one person alone living feeling breathing after 2 time pregancy or 1 or 3? And does that internal really affect you, do I go to the hospital by that time will really help? The pregnancy and raise kid, I want to know? I want to write it down these words it will be the only thing I got that time, including the tape recorder. Your voice, your sound, I might be listening like thousand times, all the time.

Every time right now if I prepared. 

The game of the boys playing the love, and the bitterness how I missing the body warmth, the house too cold, I start to go...really really insane, desire, feeling less lack of that loneliness.

I don't know how can anyone be inside one room, and everywhere not lonely feeling like the controling the whole world by talking thy herself, not one friend that lifestyle....I cannot relate to. I need my life only I know how to qauinst that really really really lonely, the room if dark, no light at night but the Pc light on. Its still scary one person alone. One person. like me.

You know that?

If that is a small apartment that has the bathroom, should I get a night light?

There is no light in the room other than the PC monitor that has the PC light in the entire living room, and blind outside, its not my home town. Its everything I am scared of. There is no light inside the house. I look at the mirror, I have no friends.